That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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