He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
