so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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