dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
