can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I understand Curling. That high.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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