"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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