I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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