I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The feeling are messing with the penis
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
