i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
