sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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