Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
