O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
