She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
