Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
