i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Alive.
So much puke
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
