hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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