two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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