if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
