TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
