Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
