Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
