Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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