I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
