I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
