Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
