dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
