Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
