i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
