i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
