Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
