It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
