it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
