tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
why is half of my head shaved?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
