If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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