that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
that may or may not have been my penis.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
