Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
