No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
