For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
