i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
