when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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