I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Randomize
