DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
