i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
