Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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