I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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