I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
