I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
