well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
