____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
how drunk are you?
Several
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
