I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Randomize
